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Make sure to put a note saying “Private” or “For later” in the subject so he doesn’t open it at an inopportune time.
Texts and emails are a great way to build anticipation.
We’ve had a good sex life thus far, but I’m apprehensive about how the switch to long distance will affect our sex life. It’s jarring to go from seeing each other regularly to relying on technology for the vast majority of your interactions.
I’m a little bit shy and haven’t been vocal about sex historically, so phone and video chat sex sound intimidating. It’s great that you have an established relationship, so hopefully you’ll be prepared to communicate about the ups and downs of the transition.
Text and email can be one of the easiest places to start, especially if you’re shy.
You’ll have plenty of time to collect and edit your thoughts, so you probably won’t feel intimidated or put on the spot.
You might find it easier to express yourself using pen and paper, or a more sultry side of your personality might emerge.
Talking over the phone is another fun option that’s not that much more intimidating than texting or writing.
Here are some ideas for places to start: Spontaneously transitioning to phone or video sex is fun, but if you have roommates or opposing schedules to contend with, you might be more successful if you plan beforehand.
You can start off tame, with a little message that says, “I miss your arms around me” or “I want to kiss you right now.” As you start to feel more comfortable, up the naughty factor with texts like, “I wish you were here in bed next to me.”If you still feel unsure of how to phrase your thoughts, try reading erotic fiction for inspiration.
Get a sense of which words feel more natural to you than others. Next, try sending him an email describing what you’d like to do to him the next time you two see each other.
Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a licensed sex psychotherapist based in San Francisco, to help us out with the specifics.
This week’s topic: How to have video and phone sex when you're in a long distance relationship.