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A scientist poking at his marriage in a petri dish, outlining the shape of his discontent.

He didn't have sex with the first woman he met from the site, so he doesn't feel guilty.

In between his kid's soccer game and a pizza party, B.* sends a picture of himself on a golf course.

Earlier, he sent 2,000 words on how he got into the game, the trips to California and Ireland, the way the clouds flood the greens at Galway Bay. The long puppyish emails, the condensation of an entire life into a few breathless paragraphs that allow him to retell the stories his wife has already heard.

He also included a dispatch from the previous evening's softball game, from the excitement of the opening huddle to the crushing defeat. He lets himself be vulnerable too, sharing memories of the beloved dog he had to put down, the long drive home from the vet when he could not stop crying.

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As such, this relationship — the one with me — is a village in a different country, on another planet. He didn't realize when he married her that a little under a decade later he would be bored.

It was wild, he says, and then puts his hand on my leg. is 32, tall and slim, and has been married for two years. There are plenty of men like B., who says he is happily married when what he really means is he is complacently bored. "Either way," he says, "it's driving me crazy." What's terrible is that H. The woman he is thinking of cheating on is still only his fiancée.

He's been with his wife since they were just out of college. I remove his hand from my leg; I tell him he doesn't look like a father. He says he did not marry the wrong woman, that he'd want to stray no matter who he was with. In one of his emails, he says he can't write too much, but there are 800 words, and pictures of him and his children. He says she's as close to perfect as any man could hope for, but it's clear he's conflicted.

He says he likes it rough, and tells me he cheated for the first time a few months ago.

He was in Vegas for a bachelor party, and he took a girl from the blackjack table upstairs to his room. Biderman is right about types like F., but wrong that all the men on Ashley Madison want sex and sex alone.

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