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Depending on the age and maturity of the child, the upheaval created by Mom and Dad no longer living under the same roof doesn't need to be complicated by premature exposure to a succession of prospective replacements.Whether you're the first man she has dated since her divorce or one of several, there's no reason to rush into a meet and greet with the kidlets.If you haven't spent that much time around children and young adults, you've got a lot of homework ahead of you.Not only is it important for you to understand their various developmental stages in order to know what makes them tick but also to figure out what kinds of things really interest them insofar as hobbies, books, movies, pets, games, sports and foods.Respect for existing boundaries further extends to any indulgences on your part such as gifts, money, treats or promises of trips to Disneyland.While she may appreciate your ability and generosity to do things for her kids that are hard on a single mom's salary, she deserves the respect of being asked permission.
Ghostwriter and film consultant Christina Hamlett has written professionally since 1970.Ask them about school and what they're learning, what they're reading or what they thought of a particular TV show or kid-centric movie without coming across as trying too hard.Kids can sense when someone is being pushy to make a good impression and this often has the opposite effect.Create opportunities to make something together, play games and demonstrate that you're a good listener who respects whatever they have to say. Rushing into a parental role too quickly can have detrimental effects on a child's self-esteem and sense of security, especially if your relationship with the mother doesn't last.Neither preach to them nor bore them to death with "when I was your age" stories. Trust takes time to build and children are no exception to this rule.